Tough day? I’ve had a few of those myself. We all have. You are not alone. Someone else is going through the exact same things you are going through right now. It might not be the same circumstance but you are not the first to be dealing with this situation. If you are having a bad and trying to find a way to turn it around, here are 5 simple yet important questions to ask to get started.
The other day I woke up in the best mood. I went about my day feeling like King Midas.
You know the story right?
Everything King Midas touched turned to gold. It was a blessing….and a curse for the king.
But then there are days when I feel like Red from Angry Birds. I just can’t seem to get a break.
I bet you know what I am talking about.
I’m guessing you’ve had your share of THOSE days.
Days when I just look forward to bedtime so I can start over again.
If you have more ‘Red’ days than ‘King Midas’ days, I want you to know that you are not alone. Good news is that there is something you can do about short periods of days when things just seem to be going wrong.
Here are the 5 questions to turn a bad day around fast.
1. IS THIS WITHIN MY CONTROL?
There is only so much you can do about things that are out of your control. Your kids behavior, that of your spouse and family or your co-worker or boss, are out of your control. You cannot control the weather or how someone feels about you. So when things are going wrong focus instead on what is in your control.
- You have control over your thoughts. Replace negative thoughts of defeat or failure with thoughts that empower and build.
- You have control over your emotions. When others are coming to you with negative thoughts or emotions, you can control your own emotions and face their negativity with calm and strength.
- You have control over your words. Instead of speaking words that only make you feel more unhappy try speaking words that builds, strengths and uplifts.
2. HAVE I PRAYED AND OFFERED IT TO GOD?
This might seem like the most obvious question, but I too have found myself down and feeling overwhelmed and then remembered that I had not even prayed about my situation. How could I have forgotten? Sometimes we get so distracted by our own difficulties, so caught up in our own ego and desires for a quick fix that we forget how powerless we really are and how powerful God really is. So take your worries to Him in prayer. Lay it at His feet and then Let.It.Go!
But how do we do that? How do we really let things go?
If someone has done something to upset or hurt you, my number one strategy is for you to pray for them. What?! I know, I know. But hear me out. What I am asking you to do here is hard and it’s something that you probably don’t feel like doing in that moment but I can almost guarantee that if you do this simple yet profound act it will change you. Your situation may not change; the other person might not change but you will be changed. God is in the business of changing hearts. Pray that God blesses them and soften their hearts. Let it go and let God take care of the rest.
3. WHAT ROLE DO I PLAY IN THIS SITUATION, AM I DOING ALL I CAN TO CHANGE IT?
Okay ,so that was two questions in one but these are certainly questions worth asking. Take a good, long hard at your situation and the role your own behavior has to do with how things are right now. The last thing I want you to do is see yourself as a victim. You have God’s power within you so I know you have the power to outlast every obstacle and challenge that might come your way. You are filled with His power and wisdom. Use that power and wisdom to think about how you can help change the situation for the better.
4. DO I NEED TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS OR OFFER FORGIVENESS TO OTHERS?
The truth is that forgiveness is so very HARD sometimes! If it was easy we’d all go around offering forgiveness left and right. Forgiveness for you. A little for you and a little for the woman in the back row.
Sometimes, though, things happen of our doing. We have created a toxic situation in which case we have to consider how we can ask forgiveness from others. The powerful thing about forgiveness is that it can change your life. When you forgive someone you are not doing it for them. You are doing it for you. Likewise when you ask for forgiveness, even if it is not immediately given, you have freed yourself of the burden of whatever you are carrying. Confessing your sins to God is the single most important component of asking for forgiveness. Start there. This can be the crucial act that brings more blessings into your life and open the gates of love, joy and abundance to come rushing in.
5. DO I NEED TO CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE? ARE THINGS REALLY AS BAD/HARD/IMPOSSIBLE AS THEY SEEM?
As a child I loved playing with my kaleidoscope. Even the slightest twist or movement can change the entire scene. You can apply this same to your problems. Try looking at it from a different angle. One technique I use often is imagining I am telling a close friend about my situation. I would describe every details, my role and the role of others. Then I would sit quietly and think about what my friend would tell me. The friend who loves me. What would they say?
Sometimes we need to get a different viewpoint from our own. We need to look at our situation from another angle in order to see exactly what we are dealing with and find a solution that could help. Are things really that bad?
It also helps to see yourself as an active participant in whatever situation you are in. Rather than feeling too down that something is happening ‘to you’, what if you saw it as happening ‘for you’. That whatever you are going through will eventually work itself out in your favor. Give yourself grace when mistakes are made and try changing your perspective.
When my son was younger, he would have the most severe temper tantrums. They were intense and upsetting. I noticed that whenever he acted that way I would respond with anger and frustration which further escalated his behavior.
One day, I decided to do something different. Instead, I started looking at his behavior as a cry for help. What if he was really trying to ask for more love and just didn’t know how to do it? So when he came with negativity, through prayer, I was able to stand firm and be calm. I met his negative with positive and ultimately, he began to calm down a lot faster. Things weren’t perfect but I started controlling what I could control, change my perspective and offered him grace.
IF ALL ELSE FAILS
Having a few bad days here or there is inevitable. None of us are immune to it. In fact, we need a few bad days to appreciate the good ones. And bad days are hopefully only temporary.
Thankfully we can prevent bad days from turning into bad weeks, months or years but asking these 5 important questions. Just mentally going through the answers will instantly change your own reaction to any situation.
You will find yourself calmer, stronger and I dare say just a little bit more joyful no matter what you are facing.
And if all else fails, just curl up to a funny movie and call it a night. Tomorrow will be a new day full of possibilities.
Which one on the lists stands out to you? Which ones will you try first?
I wish you days, weeks, months, years and decades full of joyful, happy and productive days. Don’t forget to grab your printable below.